Now Andy, have you heard about this one?

Is Andy Kaufman really dead? The debate continues!

Apple unveils iPhone 6

Everything you need to know is here

Personally, I'm glad I just got the iPhone 5s. The current trend of "mini tablets" as phones is just not for me. I need a phone that is going to fit in my pocket for Christ's sake! I have a tablet that I carry around when I need to, and phones, no matter how big, do not have the capabilities of a tablet or computer.

Ron Burgundy anchors a real news broadcast

Clip below, with the full broadcast at the link (won't embed).

KXNet - Bismarck/Minot/Williston/Dickinson

Someone tried to dissolve a body in acid a la 'Breaking Bad'

When will people learn? Breaking Bad is a TV show, not real life. Despite the odds, Walter White has yet to be caught; this is a rare occurrence in real life. Regardless of the warnings, Jason Hart decided to kill someone and dispose of her body by leaving it in a tub filled with acid. You may be saying "Hey!? Can't anyone do that and not be influenced by Breaking Bad?" to which I'd say "Yes, but did you know that they found the exact episode of Breaking Bad with the acid bath on his DVR?" to which you would reply "Oh, shit." So yeah, I'd say that's 'inspiration' or something for sure.

The body was allegedly in a plastic tub, so at least Hart learned from Jesse's mistake.

From Uproxx

Johns Hopkins students boycott exam, get A's

Dr. Peter Fröhlich, a professor at Johns Hopkins University, typically grades his exams with a curve; the highest score receives a 100, and every other grade is scaled up accordingly. As you can imagine, just the existence of this curve shows how hard his exams can be. So how could every student in 3 of his recent classes achieve an "A" on their exams? By boycotting them, of course!

It took the collaborative effort of students in Fröhlich's Intermediate Programming, Computer System Fundamentals, and Introduction to Programming for Scientists and Engineers classes, but they all managed to "miss" their final exams. With the highest grade being a "0" the professor was forced to abide by his policy and awarded A's to every student. Bravo.

Via

Well, this is ironic

If you don't know, that's Olympic sprinter (and double amputee) Oscar Pistorious. And he was recently charged with murdering his girlfriend. With a gun. With 4 bullets in the chamber. Unbelievable.

Also, this tweet is kinda ominous too:


Thanks to my brother for the tip!

Woman kills boyfriend with breasts

Uh, I wish I made up that headline, but alas I did not! Turns out Donna Lange, a 5'6" 192 pound woman, is accused of smothering and killing her boyfriend (5'7" 175 pounds) with her breasts. Yes, her breasts. Sadly, her size wasn't revealed but I'm gonna guess they are at least DD. Needless to say, this happened in a trailer in Everett, Washington. She was apparently found with her breasts over her boyfriend's face.

Apparently you really do only live once

YOLO. Ugh, I can't stand it. No shit "you only live once;" nothing has changed except that people do something stupid and use "YOLO" as an excuse. So, please stop using it, ok? Just live your life and that's that.

Anyway, on to the point. A young rapper, 21 year old Ervin McKinness, apparently tweeted about driving drunk "as fuck" at 120 mph the other night. He finished the tweet with the infamous YOLO, which proved to be ominous just minutes later. After running a red light, the car he was in lost control and slammed into a wall. McKinness and 3 others died instantly, with another passenger pronounced dead at the hospital. None of them came back to life, proving that indeed you only live once. For shame. From Huffington Post, with video after the jump.

Today in weird crime news...

First, a man named Walter White (Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad) is wanted by the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff's Office for,  you guessed it!, making meth.  And he was charged back in 2008 for making the drug, so it's not like he changed his name to suit his job.  An actual man named Walter White is wanted for production of methamphetamine. I'd check RV's, underneath laudromats, and houses being bug bombed if I were the Sheriff's Office.

In another odd crime, or rather a lack of crime technically, Miami doctor Armando Angulo will have the case against him thrown out. Why you may ask? Because it takes up too much space on the DEA's server: 2 terabytes to be exact. The fugitive doc was charged with illegally selling prescription medications online, and his rap sheet is over 400,000 pages long (or enough to print War and Peace 625,000 times. Apparently the case against him was "an economic and political hardship" for the DEA and they decided to drop the charges.

The best reaction to the "Batman Massacre"

If you haven't already read about the tragic events that took place during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, catch up here first.

Obviously nothing will fix what happened that night, and the families of the 12 people who lost their lives will never be the same.  But as it is with any tragedy, returning to a relatively normal life as soon as possible is the key to recovery. It makes it much easier to cope, and more importantly shows the evil people behind the acts that they won't continue to get under their skin. Which is why the actions of one survivor are admirable, and serve as a great reaction to James Holmes' thoughtless actions; he made headlines, now let him suffer the consequences.

Anyway, 16 year old Batman fan Justin Davis did what he set out to do on that fateful night and finished watching TDKR within a mere 24 hours.  He made a very powerful statement by essentially brushing off what Holmes did, and did so respectfully at that:

"I just want to finish it, and for all those men, women and children that didn’t get to finish it, I want to finish it for them.”

Very respectful coming from anyone, especially someone only 16 years young.

The Dark Knight turns into a massacre

On what should have been a great night of entertainment for everyone, one midnight premiere of The Dark Knight Rises turned into a night of horror.  24 year old student James Holmes walked into a movie theatre in Aurora, Colorado (yes, like Columbine) and opened fire on an ususpecting audience after Batma's first appearance in the film. He had 4 weapons in his possession, including an AR-15 assault rifle (capable of storing 100 rounds of ammunition). After emerging looking similar to the character Bane from TDKR, Holmes threw smoke bombs and fired shot into their air, which many people believed to be part of the movie or a publicity stunt.  Unforunately, the events that unfolded were all too real.

When the entire ordeal was over, which only lasted a few minutes in real time but probably felt like a few hours to the witnesses, Holmes was arrested at his car decked out in full riot gear with the (legally purchased) weapons surrounding him.  The casualites from what is being called the "Batman Massacre" total 71, making it the largest mass shooting in United States history; 12 innocent people were killed, with another 59 injured.

To make this situation even stranger, the gunman told police he was "The Joker" and his apartment was booby trapped. He wasn't bluffing, as a large number of explosives were found by the bomb sqaud, as well as tripwires rigged to set them off.  He may have combined Batman villians, but Grade A psychopath indeed.  And the asshole didn't kill himself after the shooting, so I hope he rots in a jail cell the rest of his life.

Sources are all over the web, including ABC News with video.

Man who threatened South Park gets 12 years in prison

If you're a fan of South Park like I am, surely you remember a few years back when the South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone received death threats from a Muslim group over showing the Muslim prophet Mohammed in a bear costume.  Turns out those threats were from the "Revolution Muslim" website, which was founded by Jesse Curtis Morton (a Muslim convert from Brooklyn, NY).  Along with South Park, others were targeted; Morton used words such as "we'll slit your throat" to describe the groups actions.  His attorney tried to argue that the website was for "engaging in dialogue" but I'm calling bullshit on that one.  And so are the courts, who sentenced Morton to 12 years in prison. Justice!

From Huffington Post.

Preacher chokes, punches, and spanks daughter, then takes off shoes

Well, hopefully Jesus can forgive this guy: according to a police report mega church preacher (and part time superhero?) Creflo Dollar opened a can of whoop ass on his 15 year old daughter. This can included choking, punching, and shoe spanking. Yes, he allegedly took off his shoe to spank his daughter for being disrespectful.
The preacher's church has a crazy 30,000+ members so you know tons of people look up to him. Although there are conflicting reports on the incident, Dollar's arrest certainly won't look good to his congregation. Sure, there are conflicting reports as to what happened but let's be real for a second. A preacher of that caliber is going to do or say whatever he can to protect his image. Regardless of what happened, someone in that profession should never be in this situation. To borrow from Colbert, this story gets a "wag of the finger". n

Man steals back his stolen bike

This crazy story would not be possible without the internet, more specifically Craigslist.  Danny Lesh, a man from the D.C. area, had his bike stolen overnight from a friend's house after he had loaned it to them. The next morning, the man noticed his exact bike being listed for sale on Craigslist.  He called the seller and arranged a meeting, and asked for a test ride after haggling the price.  However instead of test driving the bike, he drove it right to a waiting cab; he threw it in the trunk and drove off, successfully stealing back his stolen bike.  The man who stole the bike called Lesh back a half hour later, threatening to call the police.  This never happened, probably because the guy made a living off of selling stolen bikes and clearly wouldn't want the police involved.

Oh, the irony

I think the headline "Ex-poster child for missing kids gets 25 years in child rape" speaks for itself so I'll leave it alone.  But basically, 23 year old Adam Croote was sentenced on Friday for raping and choking a 10 year old girl he was babysitting. He was already a registered sex offender, so why was he babysitting a young girl?  Apparently the family knew of Croote being a registered sex offender, but I guess thought he had changed or they just ignored it completely.  After having a troubled childhood, Adam Croote became a poster child for missing children/child abuse.  Oh, the irony.

MORE jail time for Lenny Dykstra?

I can't make this shit up... Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to another 3 months in jail and another 3 years probation. Why? Well, he only posted a fake Craigslist ad for a housekeeper, made the multiple women give him massages, exposed himself, then held one at knife point. Seriously. More details at TMZ.

RIP AIM

Well, it seems AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) has finally been axed.  AOL recently fired mostly everyone on their AIM team, leaving just a few support staff in tact.  Basically, AIM will still be functional, but it will no longer be updated and thus I'm sure it's few remaining users will dwindle down in no time.  I stopped using AIM probably 6 years ago, so I'm surprised it was even still running currently.  Regardless, it was fun back in the day, and I'm sure everyone has at least 1 AIM conversation still saved on their computer.  Am I right?

Lenny Dykstra sentenced

Well, the Lenny Dykstra saga has sadly come to an end, as he was sentenced to 3 years in prison on grand theft auto charges.  The former Phillie has been on a downward spiral as of lately (and ever since he retired from the game) so this is just the icing on the cake.

Team Kevin

I was going to post about this earlier in the week when it started, but it took off ridiculously fast and I didn't even have a chance; that's the power of the internet now.  But anyway, as I'm sure most of you have heard, Taylor Swift offered 18 year old Kevin McGuire, who is battling leukemia for the second time, a date to the ACM Awards.  This was the result of an internet campaign that started on Facebook, where Kevin's sister gathered support for Taylor Swift to take him to prom.  The campaign took off (100,000+ members) and quickly spread to Twitter, where celebrities and athletes spread the message.  The news went from local to national, until Swift herself responded:

"Kevin, I'm so sorry but I won't be able to make it to your prom. But I was wondering, the ACM Awards are coming up.. Would you be my date? Love, Taylor"

Kevin is actually in my brother's class, and attends Sterling High School (my former high school) so I can actually relate to this on a personal level.  Kevin battled through leukemia before, and I have no doubt he'll do it again... meeting Taylor Swift certainly couldn't hurt. It's certainly reassuring to see celebrities be down to earth instead of holier than thou, and hopefully this will be something to remember for everyone involved.

Apparently a "Plan B" vending machine exists

Yep, on the campus of Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania.  For only $25 (pharmacies charge twice that), students can purchase the hilariously appropriately named "Plan B" emergency contraceptive.  Condoms, pregnancy tests, and ?decongestants? are also available in the machine.  Considering one's college years are usually the time to fool around, this actually somehow makes sense.  I'm honestly kind of surprised it took this long to happen.