The Gunfighter

Nick Offerman's Congressional Radio & TV Correspondents' Dinner speech

Part two after the jump.

Nick Offerman's Great Moments in Mustache History

Nick Offerman: The Golden Ratio

The Golden Ratio with Nick Offerman from Nick Offerman

Nick Offerman on summer reading

From his recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live:

More at UPROXX

Nick Offerman - Rainbow Song

Nick Offerman on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

So Nick Offerman did another AMA

 

Here's just a small sample:

 

Have you ever considered playing Teddy Roosevelt in a biopic about his life?

I look forward to playing #26 with a relish that can only be described as fervent. The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt and The River of Doubt are fantastic reads, and Theodore Rex is good, but more of the known quantity. You can bet your San Juan Hill that in my portrayal of Teddy, I will wrestle and defeat a Crizzly Bear.

Sausage links or patties?

please send them.

 

Who is your favorite Parks and Rec character besides Ron? If you had to choose between bacon or carpentry, which would you choose? Why did you decide to start tweeting again? Any future projects you are working on that you can disclose? Here’s a shot in the dark, but is there ANY chance that you could spare an hour to be a guest on my podcast?

1) Duke Silver. 2) Easy. Bacon. Carpentry requires protein to flourish, but Bacon requires only my masticating pork-hole. 3) To use the practical side of Twitter to disseminate information to my peoples, despite the amount of time people waste upon said channel. 4) Doing a play in Los Angeles with my gorgeous wife Megan, Annapurna, late April-June 9. 5) I think you had another question, but it's dark so I missed it.

Do you stay-in/switch-to character when approached in public by fans, or do you prefer to talk to people as simply "Nick?" Do you ever get in line for something that is taking forever (coffee, post office, DMV, etc.) and decide, "You know, this is absurd. I'm about to Ron Swanson this mother out" and just lay down the law?

1) I don't like to ever play Ron when I'm not at work, even over the phone in a radio interview. Ron is not my individual property, I make him together with Mike Schur and our show, so I don't like to whip him out at the lumber yard. 2) I don't like to wait in lines. If there's a long line for coffee, I slap myself in the face and find it just as awakening as an Americano. No one ever needs to go to the DMV.

You're stranded on a desert island. What three items do you bring?

Sharp knife One dozen hogs Small seaplane

What was it like when you had to kiss Rob Lowe?

I'm not going to lie. He made me pop. Literally?

Describe in two words your thoughts on the NYC Soda-ban being overturned.

In America, we are free. We are fat and free.

Full AMA at Reddit, via Uproxx

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets Volume 7

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets Volume 6

Nick Offerman offers some encouragment on growing a mustache

 

Previously on growing a mustache...



So that Lego movie sounds pretty crazy

Remember when I posted about the upcoming 3D LEGO movie a little while ago? Your answer is irrelevant, as I'm going to post about it anyway.

Like the title says, this movie (Lego: The Piece of Resistance) seems pretty ridiculous, and the cast keeps getting crazier. Will Arnett, Chris Pratt, Channing Tatum, Morgan Freeman, Anna Farris, and Elizabeth Banks were already announced; that would be a great ensemble as is. But now Will Ferrell, Nick Offerman, Alison Brie, and Liam Neeson are involved, which actually makes this movie exciting and anticipated.

More at UPROXX.

Need a mustache? Nick Offerman can help!

Nick Offerman on Letterman

Recall Nick's "10 Secrets to Life" before watching:

Nick Offerman reads beat poetry

About bacon. What is there not to like? The video is part of College Humor's Malarious fundraiser, with proceeds going to Malaria No More. (via)

Nick Offerman AMA

Full post of the AMA over at Reddit, but I'll just highlight my favorite parts of Nick Offerman's Q & A below.

Q:What exactly are you building in the "Nick Offerman reads tweets from young female celebrities" sketch?
A:I'm building character, young man. Watch it in slo-mo, you can see my hit points accumulate. And yes, that Forstner bit on the drill press is vorpal. Carbon Steel plus one, my bitches.

Q:I know you and your character have a lot things in common, in what ways are you drastically different from Ron? (if any)
A:I wouldn't call it drastic, but my penis is 5/8" larger than Ron's, in both length AND breadth, but it is held that he wields his with greater aplomb.

Q:what is the hardest part of acting as Ron Swanson
A:Keeping a straight face in the onslaught of hilarity from all of our cast, except Jerry.

Q:How much can your mustache bench press?
A:114 lbs. of wife.

Q:On a one on one fight you against Theodore Roosevelt at your age, who would win and why?
A:Ted Roosevelt would hand me my ass in moments. He was a goddamn man and soldier who could kill with his hands. Let's remember, I am an actor who is handy with a sopkeshave. Spokeshave. Apologies, Shakers.

Q:Best way to cook Bacon & Eggs? Thanks for doing this!
A:In an iron skillet, over a fire of oak at your cabin.

Q:You are one of the manliest men of whom I have ever heard. What is your morning routine that begins a day of badassery? Also, what is your favorite outdoor activity?
A:I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.
I love to paddle my own canoe, and also wife. Best while staring at the leaves of the maple or sycamore.

Q:When you play monopoly, which piece do you choose to represent you on the board, and why?
A:I choose the thimble because no matter where I roam, you can't prick my motherfuckin' thumb with your bitch-ass Scottie Dog. Can I cuss on here?

More after the jump!

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets Volume 5

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets Volume 4

Check out volumes one, two, and three (which I somehow missed!) first, then check out the latest installment from last night's Conan:

Happy 4th of July!

Apparently America became independent from British control on July 4th, 1776 or something.  All I know is that every year when July 4th rolls around, I can expect some great food, drinks, and outdoor fun.  So happy 4th of July!

Nick Offerman (he really should just legally change his name to Ron Swanson) provides a list of 25 other things you should do on this holiday; without a sidearm most of these won't be possible:

1. Shoot your own dinner entrées.
2. Drink American beer while it's fresh.
3. Carry a sidearm into church.
4. Shave your pubes into an American eagle.
5. Place a beef-jerky bouquet on John Wayne's grave.
6. Drive an appropriately sized truck.
7. Read the national edition of USA Today.
8. Make a healthy living simply playing the children's game of soccer.
9. Visit the historical home of Laura Ingalls Wilder and drink a half pint of Old Darlin'.
10. Urinate in North Dakota.
11. Consume USDA-certified meatstuffs.
12. Learn about the Bible in science class.
13. Gape at the majesty of California's giant redwoods while watching Ax Men on an iPad.
14. Carry a sidearm into an antique-furniture store.
15. Stand at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon and contemplate the grandeur of the combination safe full of sidearms in your nearby RV.
16. Go an entire week eating nothing but corn-syrup-based comestibles.
17. Appreciate firsthand the natural beauty of American women, particularly my American wife.
18. Not hear any Dutch accents.
19. Stand at the northern border and pass gas into Canada.
20. Secede from the union and form your own island state. (Still working out the bugs in this one.)
21. Watch a WNBA game live and revel in the physical prowess of women who know what the human body is supposed to look like.
22. Catch a largemouth bass, release it, then drive to McDonald's in a Hummer and step up to a delicious McRib.
23. After that delicious McRib, hum "I'm Lovin' It" while carrying a firearm into a Buddhist temple.
24. Become obese, then immobile, and get famous for it.
25. Appear on television and get all the money and tail you could ever dream of by becoming a televangelist.

via Huffington Post, with full interview at GQ

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets Volume 2

Again, from Young Female Celebrities!  Check out volume 1 here, and enjoy volume 2 below.



Also, this is my 700th post on the blog! Whoo-hoo!!!