2 signs of the Apocalypse

First, Hanson (yes, that boy group Hanson) is making their own beer.  It'll be an IPA out hopefully early next year, called MMMHop. *rimshot*

Secondly, lawyer Alan Dershowitz sent the "Palestinian Chicken" episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.  In the ep, Larry David eats at a Palestinian chicken restaurant named Al-Abbas despite being Jewish, just because the food is delicious. Dershowitz hopes it will jump-start peace talks between Israel and Palestine.  "A" for effort, eh?

AT-AT liquor cabinet

If you're gonna make yourself a liquor cabinet, you might as well do it in (Imperial) style!

More photos at BuzzFeed

Also, Patrice O'Neal passed away due to complications from a stroke he suffered in October.  He was only 41.

If Dr. Seuss wrote a Ghostbusters book

via Neatorama

Actual Dunder Mifflin Paper

Yes, that's right, real Dundler Mifflin brand paper is available for a limited time.  Order now, only $34.99!



From BuzzFeed

Not what I expected

Driving home I saw a black man in a suit and pea coat walking down the street. He was carrying a case of Milwaukee's Best Ice. Would not have guessed that.

Some guys launch beer into space, ruined because it's Natty Light

Keeping the streak alive!!!

See title.

Possibly the best thing a Japanese man has done

via Deadspin

Happy Thanksgiving!

From everyone here at the B-Long Blog (me), have a great Thanksgiving!  (Try to) enjoy the family, football, and food.  To celebrate, here's Martha Stewart pepper spraying a turkey.  Thanks Occupy!

Another question

Why is Thanksgiving Eve the "best drinking night" of the year? Probably the same reason that Black Friday is the "best shopping day" of the year.....

This is that reason.

Jim Carrey Career Timeline

I brought you career timelines of Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy, and now it's time for Jim Carrey (one of my favorite actors). It's really interesting to note how almost all 3 graphs have peaks at 3 specific spots: The Mask/Dumb and Dumber, The Truman Show, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Conversely, all 3 have a valley at Fun with Dick and Jane.  And for proof that the critics don't always agree with the viewers, look at the disparity for The Number 23 and Yes Man.  Click for full-size version.

Pete & Pete Reunion

Video chat by Stickam.com

(Jump to around 12 minutes) Kinda long, but it's pretty cool seeing the cast together after so long. Part 2 here.

What if the Eagles didn't blow those 4th quarter leads?

The NFC standings would be different, that's for sure.  As they are now:

NFC

East

• 6-3 NY Giants
• 5-4 Dallas Cowboys
• 3-6 Philadelphia Eagles
• 3-6 Washington Redskins

North

• 9-0 Green Bay Packers
• 6-3 Detroit Lions
• 6-3 Chicago Bears
• 2-7 Minnesota Vikings

South

• 7-3 New Orleans Saints
• 5-4 Atlanta Falcons
• 4-5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
• 2-7 Carolina Panthers

West

• 8-1 San Francisco 49ers
• 3-6 Seattle Seahawks
• 3-6 Arizona Cardinals
• 2-7 St. Louis Rams

The Eagles blew 4th quarter leads in 5 of their 6 losses, versus the Falcons, Giants, 49ers, Bears, and Cardinals.  I don't think it's unreasonable to assume the Eagles could have won each one of those games, considering the late blown leads.  Here's the updated standings had they won:

NFC

East

• 8-1 Philadelphia Eagles
• 5-4 NY Giants
• 5-4 Dallas Cowboys
• 3-6 Washington Redskins

North

• 9-0 Green Bay Packers
• 6-3 Detroit Lions
• 5-4 Chicago Bears
• 2-7 Minnesota Vikings

South

• 7-3 New Orleans Saints
• 4-5 Atlanta Falcons
• 4-5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
• 2-7 Carolina Panthers

West

• 7-2 San Francisco 49ers
• 3-6 Seattle Seahawks
• 2-7 Arizona Cardinals
• 2-7 St. Louis Rams

As you can see, the Eagles would have a commanding lead in the NFC East, with the Giants in the middle of the Wild Card hunt.  The Bears, who have recently had a resurgence, would also be in the middle of the Wild Card hunt and not leading it/favored to win.  The Falcons, who have stumbled as of late, would give the Saints control of the NFC South and be at the bottom of the possible Wild Card teams.  For the NFC West, the Cardinals would share the basement with the Rams instead of being a game up, so no significance there.  However, had the 49ers lost, they'd have been 2-2 at the time as opposed to the much better 3-1.  They've won several close games this season, and it's possible the Eagles game gave them some momentum (it certainly took away any the Eagles were hoping to gain).  They'd probably still be leading the West, but it would be a much different division.

If the Eagles continue to blow leads, I might have to do another one of theses "what ifs".  Stay tuned.

5 minutes at the penny slots

=

 

Arrested Development to return on...

... Netflix?  WTF?  Starting in 2013, all new episodes of Arrested Development will "air" exclusively on Netflix.  Guess I'll be buying a subscription by then!

Where have the Giddeons gone?

So tonight is honestly the first time I've been in a hotel room without a Giddeon bible. Wtf? Rocky Raccoon clearly didn't check in here.

Some off-season MLB news

Roy Halladay of the Phillies was unable to win a second consecutive NL Cy Young Award, as that honor when (27-5 decision) to Clayton Kershaw of the Dodgers.  Halladay finished second, with Cliff Lee third and Cole Hamels fifth.  That's a ridiculous rotation.

The Houston Astros will move to the American Leage West after the 2012 season, finally creating 2 equal 15 team leagues.  Also, by the 2013 season, there will be 2 wildcard teams in each league instead of 1.  Those 2 teams will play a 1 game playoff to decide who will advance to the divisional round.  It's about time some playoff changes were made, as baseball is one of the most difficult sports in terms of making the postseason. Only 8 out of 30 teams make the playoffs currently, which is only 27%.  (via USAToday Sports)

20 seasons of South Park?

Yes please!  South Park has been renewed til at least 2016, bringing its total seasons to 20.  That's insane.  The show started when I was almost 10, which means I'll be almost 30 when the show hits 20 years.  Congrats to Matt, Trey, and the entire South Park crew!

Sorry, no Batman at Occupy Wall Street

Came across this interesting tidbit of information today and figued I'd share.

Since The Dark Night Rises had been filming in New York, it was rumored they would film during the Occupy Wall Street protests.  This ended up not happening -at least not officially, as I'm sure several Batmans attended- and here's why according to actor Matthew Modine:

"The wisdom of Christopher Nolan and his incredible team was that, while it seemed like a good idea to give [the protestors] an opportunity for work, to give them money, it would send a terrible message.  At the end of the day, we're making a movie. What's happening down there is more important than that. To co-opt what's happening there and around the country ... we didn't want to trivialize it. It was more important to respect what they're doing than to do anything that could potentially trivialize the political situation downtown."

Via Vulture 

Michael J. Fox performs Johnny B. Goode

Man, I really respect and appreciate Michael J. Fox.  He's a tremendous actor, and an absolutely perfect advocate for Parkinson's Disease.  He really is actively trying to help find a cure which is heroic, and why this video of him performing Johnny B. Goode at a fundraiser (The Michael J. Fox Foundation) is awesome.  He even does a little duck walk at the end; try not to think of Back to the Future when you watch this:

via BuzzFeed

The Poor Kid

New York, November 14, 2011 - Kenny's parents are arrested in an all-new episode of "South Park" titled, "The Poor Kid," premiering Wednesday, November 16 at 10:00 P.M. ET/PT on Comedy Central.

With their parents in jail, Kenny and his brother and sister find themselves in the foster care system. Cartman is sincerely disturbed when Kenny is taken away. He doesn't know who to rip on for being the poorest kid in school anymore.

The Poor Kid
Get More: SOUTH
PARKKenny McCormick,Mrs. McCormick,more...

From SPS

FYI: This is the final episode of season 15.  The next episode will air after the between season break, sometime in March.

Darren Aronofsky's anti-meth PSAs

These are crazy, and exactly what you'd expect from Aronofsky (if you've seen any of his films).  Really powerful message in these PSAs for "The Meth Project", check them out below:

The coolest version of the "Reading Rainbow" theme

Thanks to Jim Morrison Jimmy Fallon on his show last night:


You know, Jimmy Fallon gets a lot of shit for laughing on SNL and producing unfunny comedies, but his late night show is great and he really excels at hosting it.  Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is just as good as Late Night with Conan O'Brien was, for sure.

Papelbon is now a Phillie

The Phillies have continued their recent trend of making huge signings in the off-season, this time by adding All-Star closer Jonathan Papelbon.  Pending a physical, he will receive a 4 year, $50 million contract (making it the largest contract for a closer in MLB history).  After using 4 pitchers as closers last season, there is no doubt who will take that spot for this upcoming season.  Where does this leave Ryan Madson?  Time will tell.

New Always Sunny tonight!

Personally, I've liked this season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  It started off a little ridiculous, and had a forgettable episode, but definitely hit its stride with "Chardee MacDennis" (which quickly jumped into my Top 10).  Tonight's ep is "The Gang Gets Trapped," and you can check out a preview clip here.

And the next flavored vodka?

Big surprise, it's not available in Jersey!

Peanut Butter!  "NutLiquor" (say it out loud) is the world's first peanut butter flavored vodka. It's formulated to taste like the "center of a peanut cup with no harsh aftertaste."  I can't wait to try this.

A few bits of news...

Joe Frazier, boxing legend and Philly hero, is knocked out by cancer at the age of 67.

The NBA players refused the latest (and last?) deal by the owners.  The 2011-2012 season is in serious jeopardy.

Conrad Murray found guilty for the involuntary manslaughter charge in the death of Michael Jackson, placed on suicide watch.

Lindsay Lohan will no longer be posing full-frontal for Playboy.  Thank God.

Where's Waldo? to be the next children's book turned movie

Yup, you read that right.  I always thought Hollywood made some interesting choices in their decisions to turn books into films, and Where's Waldo definitely tops that list.  From ComingSoon:

MGM's President of Motion Picture Group Jonathan Glickman today announced that the studio has secured feature film rights to bring Classic Media's "Where's Waldo?" to the big screen in a live-action family adventure.
"We are thrilled to be bringing the search for Waldo to the big screen. Along with our partners at Classic Media, we look forward to making a worldwide adventure that will appeal to 'Where's Waldo?' fans of all ages," Glickman said.

A History Channel Thanksgiving

New York, November 7, 2011 - Thanksgiving is just weeks away and the dedicated people at The History Channel are getting close to discovering the truth on an all-new episode of South Park titled, "A History Channel Thanksgiving" premiering Wednesday, November 9 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT on Comedy Central.

After watching a Thanksgiving special on The History Channel, the boys believe that aliens were involved in the original feast. But, questions remain... was the first Thanksgiving haunted? Is alien technology responsible for stuffing? The truth could change Thanksgiving for everyone.

A History Channel Thanksgiving
Get More: SOUTH
PARKmore...

From SPS

Charlie Day's SNL monologue

Update: The show drew great ratings, and was received positively by fans.

Eddie Murphy Career Timeline

While we're on the subject of actors who have seemed to decline over the years (see: Adam Sandler Career Timeline), I decided to focus on Eddie Murphy.  It's the general consensus that he made far superior films early in his career then released a bunch of family friendly flicks; there is no way in hell Daddy Day Care can compete with Beverly Hills Cop.  But what do IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, and Metacritic have to say about it?  Much like before the three sources don't agree but show a lot of the same trends, namely a peak in Murphy's early carreer, a decline, and a relatively constant period before increasing for the recently released Tower Heist.  Check it out below, and click for the full version.

I omitted the Shrek series since they really aren't Eddie Murphy movies and would skew the results

What you should not let your kids do

Umm..... yeah.

Andy Rooney passes away

Andy Rooney, who recently ended his ridiculously long run on 60 Minutes, passed away today at the age of 92 due to complications from a minor surgery he had last week.  Though he didn't always have the most agreeable opinions, he certainly was an entertaining old man.  Kind of like your grandfather or crazy uncle who rambles on about the government or how everything was better back in the day.

Jim Thome rejoins the Phillies

Fan favorite (or Phan Phavorite if you're one of those people) Jim Thome will be returning to the Philadelphia Phillies for the 2012 season.  The 41 year old recently hit his 600th career homerun, and signed a one year contract with the Phils today, pending a physical.  Perfect low-key signing if you ask me, since Thome is a marked improvement over Ross Gload as a left handed pinch hitter/first baseman with power.

Adam Sandler Career Timeline

After talking to my brother about how Adam Sandler's career has gone from good to bad, I decided to make a chart to demonstrate.  I used ratings from IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, and Metacritic user reviews.  Surprisingly, his movies haven't gotten steadily worse according to those sources, instead being relatively constant over the years (obviously a few ups and down in between).  IMDB users aren't exactly the best judge of character, and Rotten Tomatoes considers critic reviews which have never been too fond of any (funny) Sandler flick.  Metacritic users, however, share relatively the same opinion as my brother and I do, though the decline isn't quite as sharp.  But seriously, there is no way Jack and Jill is going to touch Billy Madison/Happy Gilmore/The Wedding Singer.  Without further ado, here's the chart:

Click for full-size

I'll be doing more of these for other comedians/actors, so stay tuned! Any requests?

Chik-Fil-A donated money to ani-gay groups?

Wow.  I knew they were run by religious fanatics (closed on Sunday, the only day you actually want Chik-Fil-A) but this is just ridiculous.  Apparently back in 2009, the restaurant chain donated nearly $2 million to anti-gay groups such as the Marriage & Family Legacy Fund, the National Christian Foundation, and Focus on the Family.  I really don't think anyone should be discriminated against, so this news disgusts me.  But god damn if those chicken sandwiches and nuggets aren't just plain delicious.

The Top 50 MLB Free Agents

Read the whole list here, but here's the top 10 (and the Phillies on the list):

1. Albert Pujols
2. Prince Fielder
3. Jose Reyes
4. C.J. Wilson
5. Jonathan Papelbon
6. Heath Bell
7. Carlos Beltran
8. David Ortiz
9. Aramis Ramirez
10. Jimmy Rollins

   12. Ryan Madson
   22. Roy Oswalt
   35. Raul Ibanez
   44. Brad Lidge

via The700Level