2013 NFL Picks Week 9

It's about damn time I had a good week! Best week since Week 2, after string of 5 consecutive weeks of mediocre picking. Finished Week 8 at 9-4, which is the least losses (4) I've had in any single week and was my best percentage wise (69%), too. Only raised my overall by 1% though. Let's recap:

Once again I suck at picking the Eagles, but I'm still convinced they would have won if Vick were healthy (or even Foles). Chose Dallas for the slight upset (my only upset pick) over Detroit, and despite being ecstatic they lost, they should have won that game for sure.  Pittsburgh had been playing well as of late, and I thought they could take care of the Raiders but apparently not. Lastly, how bad is Atlanta? I did not expect them to lose so many games already, especially not last week at Arizona. Here's what Week 9 brings us:

Thursday, 8:25pm
Cincinnati Bengals at Miami Dolphins
Sunday, 1pm
New Orleans Saints at New York Jets
Tennessee Titans at St. Louis Rams*
Minnesota Vikings at Dallas Cowboys
Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers
San Diego Chargers at Washington Redskins
Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills
Sunday, 4pm
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Seattle Seahawks
Philadelphia Eagles* at Oakland Raiders
Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots
Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns
Sunday, 8:30pm
Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans
Monday, 8:30pm
Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers

*Upset picks as of 11:30am Thursday 10/31

Previous Results
Week 1: 11-5
Week 2: 11-5
Week 3: 7-9
Week 4: 8-7
Week 5: 8-6
Week 6: 9-6
Week 7: 8-7
Week 8: 9-4
Season: 71-49 (58%)

Henry's Kitchen: Scary Pumpkin Pancakes

'The Walking Dead' will return next year

No surprise here, but The Walking Dead will return next year for its 5th season. Yep, that's basically it, aside from Scott Gimple returning as showrunner.

Via

Taming Strange

NEW YORK, October 28, 2013 - Kyle doesn’t understand WHAT’S HAPPENING TO HIS BABY BROTHER in an all-new episode of "South Park" titled "Taming Strange," premiering Wednesday, October 30 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT on Comedy Central.

Ike just isn’t himself lately and he and Kyle are growing apart. Kyle goes to the guidance councilor for advice but Mr. Mackey is too busy dealing with the bugs in the school’s new integrated technology system to help. Kyle decides to take Ike to a live performance of his favorite show; Yo Gabba Gabba. He hopes it'll make his little brother like him again.

SPS

Star Wars Blooper Reel

The Arrested Development soundtrack releases November 19th

It ain't easy being white.

2013 NFL Picks Week 8

I just cannot get a good week picking games! Basically fared as well as flipping a coin last week, finishing 8-7. My percent dropped another point back to 57%, so let's look at those 7 losses:

St. Louis was unable to upset Carolina on the road, but that was a toss-up pick for me and the injury to Sam Bradford played a part in the loss. Chicago was also hurt by the loss of their QB Jay Cutler, and were unable to outgun the Redskins, somehow. New England is becoming frustrating to pick, as last week they upset New Orleans but then this week are upset by the fucking JETS. Miami started the season off strong, but has been unable to win lately including last week at home vs. Buffalo. Detroit was also unable to win at home, losing a toss-up match against Cincinnati. Pittsburgh has been playing much better as of late, and were able to hold off Baltimore at home. And so that leaves us with another huge upset, as Peyton Manning was unable to roll into Indianapolis for a Denver win. 1-3 in upset picks for Week 7; I should probably just pick all the favorites! Week 8, here we come. Hopefully it's an easy week like it appears to be:

Thursday, 8:25pm
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Sunday, 1pm
San Francisco 49ers at Jacksonville Jaguars
New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles
Buffalo Bills at New Orleans Saints
Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots
Cleveland Browns at Kansas City Chiefs
Dallas Cowboys* at Detroit Lions
Sunday, 4pm
Pittsburgh Steelers at Oakland Raiders
New York Jets at Cincinnati Bengals
Washington Redskins at Denver Broncos
Atlanta Falcons at Arizona Cardinals
Sunday, 8:30pm
Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings
Monday, 8:30pm
Seattle Seahawks at St. Louis Rams

*upset pick as of 11:30am Thursday 10/24

Previous Results
Week 1: 11-5
Week 2: 11-5
Week 3: 7-9
Week 4: 8-7
Week 5: 8-6
Week 6: 9-6
Week 7: 8-7
Season: 62-45 (57%)

Nick Offerman's Great Moments in Mustache History

Eagles vs. Cowboys: Behind the Numbers 2013

I was both surprised and not surprised by the result of the first highly anticipated matchup between the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys. The Eagles lost 17-3; that wasn't the surprise. How they lost however, was a shocker to me. The defense played great (exceptional maybe? No, probably not) and the offense, led by Nick "I don't know how to pass" Foles downright STUNK. I can already tell you that the numbers will agree with me, so let's dive right in!

As I presumed, very few surprises here. Despite running the same number of plays (75), the Eagles fared much worse than the Dallas Cowboys. They totaled about 100 less yards (even with garbage time), and averaged more than a yard less per gain. They were out passed. They had less first downs (but somehow only 3 less). They converted less 3rd downs. And yet they still out ran the Cowboys, even though LeSean McCoy had his worst game of the year. Speaking of worst games of the year, this match-up was the lowest offensive output from the Birds; in score, net yards, average gain, rushing yards, and third down conversions they all had season lows. Unfortunately the Eagles were unable to overcome a fairly clean game (until Matt Barkley went into desperation mode), as they only recorded 5 penalties vs. 12 for Dallas and managed their only 3 points off of 2 turnovers (1 ended the first half). Just a glance at the offensive numbers, and it's clear why the score was 17-3.

Ben & Jerry's to make a limited edition 'Anchorman' flavor

It'll be called Ron Burgundy's Scotchy Scotch Scotch, but will unfortunately contain no actual scotch (it's butterscotch flavored). Check it out below!



Via Uproxx

Well, don't expect too many new eps of 'Parks and Rec' this year

Sad face.

Late on Friday, NBC announced a slew of schedule changes, as well as the cancellations of newbies Ironside and Welcome to the Family. Somewhat lost among all the shifting was this sad fact: Parks and Recreation is going on hiatus, effective immediately. This week's planned episode is being replaced by a repeat of The Voice, next week will feature an SNL Halloween clip show, and November 7 will offer a long-scheduled live episode of The Voice. Parks will then return on November 14, but only for two weeks, with back-to-back episodes airing that night and on November 21. (This means the show's planned Halloween/election episode will now air two weeks after Halloween and a week after Election Day.) After its two-week return, Parks disappears again, this time staying off the air completely until early 2014. NBC will fill the Parks time slot until then with a mix of football, a live broadcast of The Sound of Music, two weeks of The Sing-Off, and the hour-long return of Community on January 2. Unless NBC changes its mind, Parks will be back on January 9 in its new/old 8:30 p.m. time slot. Via Vulture

They had a real funeral for Walter White in ABQ

Wait, what? Yes, you read that headline correctly.

Write up soon, head here for now.

Why doesn't this product exist?

How many times has this happened to you?!? But seriously, think about it. You get to the bottom of a bag of potato chips or tortilla chips and have nothing but crumbs left. Remember those Crayola machines that were able too melt all the crayon pieces to make one crayon? Why doesn't this technology exist for snack food? There should be a machine that combines all those tortilla crumbs into whole chips. Get on it, Lay's!!!

Living with Jigsaw

(Embed soon!)

2013 NFL Picks Week 7

9-6 last week, which is slightly better than the previous couple of weeks. Only about a 1% raise overall, but a step in the right direction. Let's see where I went wrong:

The worst pick based on score? The Texans over the Rams. Not even close, and I'm beginning to think I pick Houston worse than the Eagles (who I correctly picked!). Went with the home teams as I picked the Jets over the (then winless) Steelers, Minnesota over Carolina (another blowout), and Cleveland over Detroit; should have gone with them home teams in New Orleans over New England (though that game was won by Tom Brady) and Indianapolis over San Diego (who is looking legit, actually). And another bad week of upset picks, going 0-2 thanks to New Orleans blowing that game. Moving on:

Thursday, 8:25pm
Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals
Sunday, 1pm
San Diego Chargers at Jacksonville Jaguars
St. Louis Rams* at Carolina Panthers
Chicago Bears* at Washington Redskins
Dallas Cowboys*^ at Philadelphia Eagles
New England Patriots at New York Jets
Buffalo Bills at  Miami Dolphins
Houston Texans at Kansas City Chiefs
Cincinnati Bengals at Detroit Lions
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Atlanta Falcons
Sunday, 4pm
San Francisco 49ers at Tennessee Titans
Baltimore Ravens* at Pittsburgh Steelers
Cleveland Browns at Green Bay Packers
Sunday, 8:30pm
Denver Broncos at Indianapolis Colts
Monday, 8:30pm
Minnesota Vikings at New York Giants

*Upset picks as of 11:30am Thursday 10/17
^May change Dallas/Philly pick

Previous Results
Week 1: 11-5
Week 2: 11-5
Week 3: 7-9
Week 4: 8-7
Week 5: 8-6
Week 6: 9-6
Season: 54-38 (58%)

Expecting a new 'South Park' tonight? Here's why it didn't happen!

It wouldn't be a problem for any other show, but since South Park is typically submitted to Comedy Central the day of airing, a silly little thing like a blackout can cause an episode not to air:

On Tuesday night, South Park Studios lost power. From animation to rendering to editing and sound, all of our computers were down for hours and we were unable to finish episode 1704 "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers" in time for air tonight. Trey Parker said, "It sucks to miss an air date but after all these years of tempting fate by delivering the show last minute, I guess it was bound to happen."  

GOTH KIDS 3: DAWN OF THE POSERS will air next Wednesday, October 23rd. Tonight there will be encore, Live-Tweeted presentation of Scott Tenorman Must Die at 10p EST.

Via South Park Studios

Eagles vs. Buccaneers: Behind the Numbers 2013

Sure, they got 2 wins in the last 2 weeks against winless teams, but Nick Foles and the Phildadelphia Eagles took care of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Sunday, winning 31-20. Though losing at halftime, the Birds used a dominant second half to come out with the W. It was a game the Eagles were supposed to win, but do the numbers support the result?

To answer that question: yes! The Eagles outplayed the Buccaneers in every facet of the game. They outscored, out gained, out ran, and out passed them. They had more first downs, and converted more third downs. They had a fairly clean game, too; only 1 turnover and only 3 penalties for 31 yards. The Birds were able to force 1 turnover by Tampa Bay, which resulted in a touchdown (capitalizing!). If you want to nitpick, the only area the Eagles failed to match the Bucs in was total plays, which they had 1 less. Key stats for the Eagles: rushing yards (138) was over 100 for the 5th time in the first 6 games, and they are averaging well over 100 per game; after the abysmal Kansas City game, the Eagles have only turned the ball over 1 time while recording 5 takeaways; they have had over 400 net yards in every single game this season, with this week's total (425) being the lowest yet.

I am the one who carves

My brother made this truly awesome Heisenberg inspired Jack-O-Lantern:

An honest trailer for 'The Walking Dead'

Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers

NEW YORK, October 14, 2013 - The Goth kids team up with their sworn enemies in an all-new episode of "South Park" titled "Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers," premiering Wednesday, October 16 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT on Comedy Central.

One of the Goth kids has been sent to a camp for troubled children. When she returns, her friends find her changed in a disturbing way. With their very existence threatened, the Goths have to do something drastic. They are forced to ask the Vamp kids for help.

SPS

The Wardrobe of Walter White

Thought you'd stop hearing about Breaking Bad once it ended? Think again! This huge picture is not to cut out for paper dolls, but rather the complete wardrobe of Walter White from the show's entire run. Click to enlarge, and buy a print here. 

Anthony Hopkins wrote an email of admiration to Bryan Cranston

About his stellar acting performance in Breaking Bad. Here it is in its entirety:

Dear Mister Cranston.  

I wanted to write you this email – so I am contacting you through Jeremy Barber – I take it we are both represented by UTA . Great agency.  

I’ve just finished a marathon of watching “BREAKING BAD” – from episode one of the First Season – to the last eight episodes of the Sixth Season. (I downloaded the last season on AMAZON) A total of two weeks (addictive) viewing.  

I have never watched anything like it. Brilliant!  

Your performance as Walter White was the best acting I have seen – ever.  

I know there is so much smoke blowing and sickening bullshit in this business, and I’ve sort of lost belief in anything really.  

But this work of yours is spectacular – absolutely stunning. What is extraordinary, is the sheer power of everyone in the entire production. What was it? Five or six years in the making? How the producers (yourself being one of them), the writers, directors, cinematographers…. every department – casting etc. managed to keep the discipline and control from beginning to the end is (that over used word) awesome.

From what started as a black comedy, descended into a labyrinth of blood, destruction and hell. It was like a great Jacobean, Shakespearian or Greek Tragedy.  

If you ever get a chance to – would you pass on my admiration to everyone – Anna Gunn, Dean Norris, Aaron Paul, Betsy Brandt, R.J. Mitte, Bob Odenkirk, Jonathan Banks, Steven Michael Quezada – everyone – everyone gave master classes of performance … The list is endless.  

Thank you. That kind of work/artistry is rare, and when, once in a while, it occurs, as in this epic work, it restores confidence.  

You and all the cast are the best actors I’ve ever seen.  

That may sound like a good lung full of smoke blowing. But it is not. It’s almost midnight out here in Malibu, and I felt compelled to write this email.  

Congratulations and my deepest respect. You are truly a great, great actor.  

Best regards  

Tony Hopkins.

Via 

This fake "Aquaman" trailer is about as lame as you'd expect

Sneak Peek of 'The Walking Dead' Season Premiere

Macaroni and Cheese Pancakes!

http://laughingsquid.com/macaroni-n-cheese-pancakes/

100 Life Lessons from 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'

“The Gang Gets Racist” — There is nothing less interesting than other people’s dreams.

“Charlie Wants an Abortion” — Ask the big questions.

“Underage Drinking: A National Concern” — Relive your high school days as an adult.

“Charlie Has Cancer” — Never sneak up behind a friend or stranger, or else.

“Gun Fever” — Make good decisions at night so you can walk proudly in the morning.

Read more at UPROXX

2013 NFL Picks Week 6

Well, my percent stayed exactly the same after Week 5 concluded. Finished at 8-6, with several upsets. Speaking of which: Cincinnati over New England (even though the Bengals were favored somehow), Arizona over Carolina (minor), Oakland over San Diego, and of course the New York Jets over Atlanta. But hey, that's the nature of the game. My other losses were a toss up between Baltimore and Miami (I went with the home team), and picking Houston over San Fran (Houston is playing like shit). 2-4 in upset picks. Once again, I'm hoping to improve this week:

Thursday, 8:25pm
New York Giants at Chicago Bears
Sunday, 1pm
Pittsburgh Steelers at New York Jets
St. Louis Rams at Houston Texans
Green Bay Packers at Baltimore Ravens
Philadelphia Eagles at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Carolina Panthers at Minnesota Vikings
Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs
Detroit Lions at Cleveland Browns
Cincinnati Bengals at Buffalo Bills
Sunday, 4pm
Tennessee Titans at Seattle Seahawks
Jacksonville Jaguars at Denver Broncos
New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots
Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers
Sunday, 8:30pm
Washington Redskins at Dallas Cowboys
Monday, 8:30pm
Indianapolis Colts at San Diego Chargers

Upset picks as of 12am Thursday 10/10

Previous Results
Week 1: 11-5
Week 2: 11-5
Week 3: 7-9
Week 4: 8-7
Week 5: 8-6
Season: 45-32 (57%)

Eagles vs. Giants: Behind the Numbers 2013

It may not have been a must-win for the Birds this week, but I'd say it was a must-win for the Birds this week. With a win and a Cowboys loss, the Eagles are tied for first place in the NFC East at 2-3, which is big since they have the easiest remaining schedule in the NFL (as I mentioned in the last BTN). Let's see what the numbers uncover about the Eagles 36-21 win over the New York Giants:

Believe it or not, the Giants were actually winning this game as late as 13:56 into the 3rd quarter after scoring 2 touchdowns. But after the score was 21-19 in their favor, the Eagles took over the game in dominating fashion, scoring 17 unanswered points (thanks to two 4th quarter touchdowns by Nick Foles). The numbers certainly support the Eagles here, as they bested New York in total plays, net yards, average gain, rushing yards, first downs, and third down percent. The only offensive category in which the Giants bettered the Birds was passing yards, which makes sense being down in the 4th quarter couple with their awful rushing game. Philadelphia also committed less penalties: 8 for 88 is still a cause of concern, but the Giants had 12 for an absurd 136 yards. The Eagles did not turn the ball over for the second consecutive game (and third all year) while forcing 4 turnovers (3 Eli Manning INTs). Luckily, they capitalized by scoring 17 points as a result. Clean games will often result in wins, as evidenced here.

If all of Tom Hanks' roles were one movie

World War Zimmerman

NEW YORK, October 7, 2013 - The world faces death, destruction, chaos and Eric Cartman in all-new episode of "South Park" titled "World War Zimmerman," premiering Wednesday, October 9 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT on Comedy Central.

Cartman is deeply disturbed by a single person who he sees as a threat to all humanity. He races around the country to put an end to Patient Zero, the ticking time bomb that is Token.

Eagles vs. Broncos: Behind the Numbers 2013

First off, sorry this is late! I figured there wasn't much left in question after the shellacking the Eagles endured last Sunday, and I was right. The game went how everyone thought it would, so I won't be saying too much about this game and the numbers. The Broncos are who we thought they were. The Eagles? We'll see. On to the numbers!

Well one glance at this will show you the story of the game, as the score was clearly the most lopsided statistic above. It's hard to believe that the score was 21-13 after the first half, with the final score in mind and the fact that it never felt like the Birds were ever in the game. Everything else is surprisingly similar, with the Broncos gaining only 22 more yards than the Eagles. However, they were superior on third down percent (despite only having 8 opportunities all game) and converting 35 first downs compared to only 21. Both teams played fairly clean games (no turnovers) but Philadelphia committed 8 penalties for 62 yards; Denver had just 2 for 25.

Having Breaking Bad withdrawal? Try this

http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/10/the-superb-ecstasy-of-gold-tribute-video-wont-help-cure-your-breaking-bad-hangover/

The Oath: New 'Walking Dead' webseries

Watch the first installment of the latest webisode for The Walking Dead titled "The Oath" below, just in time for the Season 4 premiere October 13th. Check out the rest on AMC.com!

2013 NFL Picks Week 5

Well, another crappy week. This is harder than I thought, I guess. Finished last week slightly better than Week 3, at 8-7; it still dropped my overall by another 3%. Let's see if there's a reason why, or if I'm just bad at this!

I thought Houston would hold the Seahawks down at home, but they blew a huge lead. I don't know why I pick Tampa Bay; their defense holds Arizona to 13 points yet they still lose at home. Lost a bit of a toss up between Chicago and Detroit, as I went with the slight upset. Cincinnati lost to Cleveland, which I'm sure is surprising to others besides myself. Completely surprised by Baltimore losing to Buffalo, further proof of the Super Bowl Hangover. San Diego surprised again, as Dallas disappointed again. Lastly, Atlanta just isn't looking good this year as they lost a home game to New England by 7. Also, glad I changed my pick for the Redskins/Raiders game, and I managed to correctly predict an Eagles lost (haha). 1 for 3 in upset picks.

Hopefully I can turn things around this week, so let's get to the picks:

Thursday, 8:25pm
Buffalo Bills at Cleveland Browns
Sunday, 1pm
Seattle Seahawks at Indianapolis Colts
Kansas City Chiefs at Tennessee Titans
Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers
Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants
Baltimore Ravens at Miami Dolphins
Jacksonville Jaguars at St. Louis Rams
New England Patriots at Cincinnati Bengals
New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears*
Sunday, 4pm
Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals
Denver Broncos at Dallas Cowboys
Sunday, 8:30pm
Houston Texans at San Francisco 49ers
Sunday, 11:35pm
San Diego Chargers at Oakland Raiders
Monday, 8:30pm
New York Jets at Atlanta Falcons

*No favorite
Upset picks as of 2:30pm Thursday 10/3

Previous Results
Week 1: 11-5
Week 2: 11-5
Week 3: 7-9
Week 4: 8-7
Season: 37-26 (57%)

So Norm MacDonald has a crazy theory about the ending of 'Breaking Bad'

Read about it here

Tom Hanks AMA

http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/10/best-tom-hankss-reddit-ama/#page/1